my dad just yelled up the stairs “CHLOE DID YOU KNOW THE WEATHERMAN WAS GAY I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS GAY HE JUST GOT MARRIED TO HIS BOYFRIEND” and i was like which weatheman are we talking about here and he said “THE BLONDE ONE WITH THE SHARP HAIR CUT AND THE TIGHT PECS AND THE HOT ASS BODY” dad is there something you want to tell me
(via gay-for-katy-perry)
- me when my friends are sad: insert 6 page text here of advice and telling them how perfect they are
- them when im sad: oh sorry
i’ve done like, 12 things in my life probably, and i regret 16 of them
(via thelifeofboyo)
i’ve got some kind of allergic reaction going on and my face is breaking out in a bad rash and my mom is freaking out and wants to take me to the ER and my dad was like “let’s not make any rash decisions” and we high fived and now my mom is yelling at us
(via thelifeofboyo)
sex is so weird like hey let me stick my rock hard limb into ur tiny hole and then slam into you repeatedly because i love you
(via ohivelivedtoolong)
